Sometimes I can't help asking myself if I belong here, within the humanity. Maybe I am from some different planet, or at least from some other, completely different sapient species? Now that I know some magic words like "highly functioning autism" and "Asperger's syndrome", they explain some of my quirks and idiosyncrasies, but not all of them, not even close. There are so many things, that people (including other aspies) think completely normal and that make absolutely no sense to me. I feel totally out of context.
For one, why do people drink alcohol? That's a very common tradition, present in nearly every culture this days - yet, it's totally unintelligible. I could understand people that drink alcohol-containing beverages just because they like the taste, and for the sake of taste they neglect the toxic and harmful effects. It is still kind of silly, but at least it makes some sense. But if it was the case, nobody would ever buy spirits. People drink those to be drunk, because they like the feeling of being drunk. I do admit - for me, mind of a person consciously and deliberately pouring poison down their throat just to experience some side-effects of intoxication-induced mental dysfunction is as alien as mind of quasi-sapient crystalloid lifeform from outer space would be.
I can only name one thing that's actually worse and makes less sense than alcohol - that is, tobacco. I mean, if people only poison themselves, it is strange, but it's up to them. People who smoke in public areas are not only forcing poison down their own throats, but also to all the people around. And it's no big secret that nicotine-containing smoke is harmful and dangerous even in small concentrations (I live on the fourth floor, and if somebody smokes on the street under my window, four floors below, I still feel sick and nauseated). Smoking in public spaces is essentially the same thing as spraying poisonous gas onto a crowd, but while the latter is rightfully viewed as terrorism and treated accordingly, the former is okay with most societies on Earth. And then people are surprised why there are born so many defect children or why people, who never smoked a fag in their lives, die from lung cancer on the age of 40! As some of you may know, here in New Zealand the University of Auckland banned smoking on campus. Some time ago some sort of student journalist asked me: "What do you think on that smoking ban?". "I don't like the ban, - I answered, - there should be no need to ban. If humans were really sapient creatures, the whole idea of smoking in public areas would not arise on the first place!"
The other thing I wouldn't even try to understand are those men and women that like muscular bodies. I would understand if it was just a rare fetish that is found in some minute percentage of society, like people who pay attention to bellybutton 'innies' or 'outies', or like diaper fetish, or some other similar kink. But it is obviously not so, provided the dominating sexual stereotypes. They seem completely unnatural. Maybe, some 10000 years ago this body type actually provided better chance of survival and making a better parent - though, I personally doubt it, as those stereotypical 'sexy' bodies are anything but dominant within the tribes living in 'primitive' conditions, meaning they are not favored by natural selection there - but this days attraction to that body type can't be explained that way. In fact, it's much like being sexually attracted to a dinosaur.
There's more. Why do people dance? I mean, I could understand people's need to stretch their muscles, especially if their profession and way of life don't provide too much movement. Muscles usually aggregate lactic acid and start to ache after several hours of immobility. But dancing as it's done is something different - it is performed publicly, often gathering big crowds, and the audience is supposed to appreciate the performance, to find it beautiful. Tell me, what's beautiful in people jumping around, swinging their legs, turning, lurching, shaking and looking like total idiots?
There's even worse kind of dance - when people (or I think I'd rather call these creatures cattle - rather unfair to good old sheep and cows, but more precise and appropriate) gather in some sort of room and turn on some rhythmic noise. These noises (I'm sorry, I can't make myself call it music, as I have too much respect for this term) resonate with human alpha-rhythm and make it dominant, leading to effect of goofiness and, sometimes, to what's called 'brain switched off'. Consequently, these brainless creatures start jumping around and shaking their bodies. Some of them also use alcohol and other brain-damaging substances to add to their brain dysfunction. And after all this, they call it all 'having a good time'! I think, if they like the feeling of being mentally downgraded or retarded, they could just have their cortex surgically removed and stay in this 'having a good time' condition for good.
